Discovering my sissy desires.........

Even though I’ve been wearing panties 24/7 for a number of years now, it was only about ten years ago when I discovered my true sissy desires. I had been corresponding via e-mail with a woman who was acting as my “domme” and giving me various orders and tasks to “sissify” me. She would have me buy specific panties then send her pictures of me “playing” in them or to make me feel more feminine and smell pretty she would have me take bubble baths. Sometimes she would have me wear a maxi-pad in my panties for a few days and other times she would make me go out in public with a butt plug properly inserted. They were usually very simple tasks that were used to make me feel more effeminate. Then one day I received an e-mail from her that asked if I had ever felt any sexual attraction towards men? I responded that I definitely had not, that my only sexual attraction was for women. She immediately sent me a task to perform saying males that wear female panties usually have female desires also. In order to better understand my female desires Iwas to wear a bra and panties only, then search for websites with pictures of men masturbating either alone of with other men. I was then supposed to masturbate while viewing the pictures and give her a detailed report. Of all the tasks she had given me, this one I truly detested and even considered not doing it then making up my report for her. Although I had no interest in performing the task I decided I would do as I was told so I could tell her how disgusted I was looking at men. I stripped down to just my panties and put on one of my bras then got online to complete my task.

When I started searching I couldn’t believe that I was actually going to masturbate while looking at pictures of men and assumed I would have a hard time even getting an erection. After finding websites as instructed I began viewing various pictures of men playing with their excited cocks. Some were alone and some were with other guys. Most of them had cocks bigger then mine and I was intrigued by their size. I wasn’t paying much attention to the men themselves but focused on their big hard cocks. The only time I focused on the guy himself was usually in the pictures where the man was cumming or had cum. I enjoyed seeing the pleasurable expressions on their faces knowing that I’d shared that same pleasure many times. To my surprise I realized I was getting quite aroused and had already started massaging the erection in my panties. It wasn’t long before I was as turned on as I had ever been in my life. I couldn’t believe it, I was not only looking at other men playing with their cocks, I was masturbating too! I continued rubbing my excited cock through my panties as I viewed more pictures and soon they were wet and sticky with my pre-cum. Most of the websites had the pictures divided by “interests” and up to that point I’d only been looking at “masturbation” pictures but then decided to check out “sucking”. Oh my god, I was looking at pictures of men licking and sucking other men’s cocks, and getting even more turned on then I ever imagined! I had never even been really turned on by seeing pictures of women sucking a cock but seeing one man sucking another man was really hot. I started wondering what it would be like to have a big cock in my mouth then feel it begin that orgasmic throbbing and knowing I was about to have my mouth filled with cum. As I looked at the pictures I was imagining my own mouth and expressions with a cock in my mouth. I finally couldn’t handle the excitement any longer and I wanted my mouth filled with cum.
Since I wasn’t as limber as I had been in my younger days I had found a new method to cum in to my own mouth although my accuracy wasn’t quite as good. I would lay on the floor with my butt as near to a wall as possible then put my feet up on the wall over my head, kind of a sitting position but while laying on my back. I would then inch my feet up the wall until my body was almost fully extended up the wall with my feet flat against the wall, my knees bent, and my back almost against the wall. In this position my cock is about fifteen inches away but it’s directly over my face. I quickly took my panties off then got into position. At that moment there was nothing I desired more then to have my mouth filled with a big excited cock. I was wishing I could suck myself just to see what it felt like to have an excited penis in my mouth. As I looked at my own excited cock pointing directly at my face I couldn’t even believe what I was desiring. I then said aloud to myself “oh yeh, I would really love to have someone’s cock in my mouth, I want to suck a cock so bad. Oh god yes, I want to feel a big hard cock filling my mouth with cum”. I couldn’t control my excitement any longer at the thought of another man shoving his cock deep into my mouth and making me swallow his load. I felt the throbbing sensation in my excited penis and knew I had passed my point of no return. I hadn’t even touched myself for at least a minute and yet I was so turned on by my thoughts that I was starting to cum. I opened my mouth in anticipation then watched as a stream of cum shot from my aroused cock, landing on my chin and in my mouth. Since I was already ejaculating I began rapidly thrusting my hips without stroking myself and my cum was shooting everywhere, on my face, in my mouth, in my hair, on my chest. It was so incredibly exciting! I shot such a big load of cum and it was all over me. When I finished ejaculating I slowly stroked my cock and the last bit of cum dripped into my waiting mouth. I laid there for a moment thinking about what a wild incredible orgasm I had then went into the bathroom and as I looked in the mirror I couldn’t believe the amount of cum I had on me. I’m not sure I had ever cum so much. I began wiping it with my fingers and licking it but then I became disgusted with myself and finished cleaning myself up with a wash rag.

Afterwards I sent an e-mail to my “domme” to give her my detailed report of what I did that night and within fifteen minutes I received a response that read “It sounds to me that my little sissy likes big boy cocks afterall. I’m not surprised! You can try to deny it but it’s obvious from your excitement that even though you proclaim to only have a sexual attraction to females you indeed also like men! I am quite certain it will only be a matter of time until you’re on your knees with a big cock in your mouth and your own cum will be squirting into your pretty panties as you swallow your first load of man cum!!!” I laughed and thought “not a chance in hell” then as I went to bed I dismissed the event as one of the strangest things I’d ever done.

When I awoke the next morning I again thought about the previous night and couldn’t believe I had gotten so turned on looking at sexually aroused men. It definitely was a weird thing for a heterosexual male to do and I wrote it off as a once in a lifetime experience. The trouble was I couldn’t get it out of my head. When I was home from work for lunch that day I couldn’t resist getting on the computer and visiting one of the websites I’d been on the night before. As I quickly looked through the pictures, I found some of a man with his hands tied behind his back being forced to suck a large cock. I realized I again had a full erection in my pants and I was massaging it. I very nearly came in my pants but managed to get myself under control then realized I needed to get back to work. For the rest of the afternoon I already knew what I would be doing when I got home and it was hard to keep my mind focused on my job. As soon as I got home I immediately got back on the same website I had been on earlier that day and before the pictures even appeared I had a boner in my pants. I began massaging my very excited cock through my pants as I viewed the various pictures while fantasizing it was me with my hands tied and being forced to orally pleasure the man’s big thick penis. Within a few minutes I felt that familiar throbbing sensation. I was again past the point of no return I was going to cum in my pants! I didn’t care as it seemed appropriate for a sissy to cum in his pants while looking at a big hard cock and oh my, did I cum! My orgasm was probably as intense as it had been the night before and I soaked the front of my pants with a massive amount of warm sticky cream. Normally after I ejaculate I don’t have much interest in tasting my cum but I was still so turned on that I removed my pants then licked all the sticky semen from inside my panties. I masturbated and ate my cum three more times that night while looking at pictures of men masturbating and sucking cocks. I couldn’t believe it but I had ejaculated more times in a twenty-four hour period then I ever had in my life, and my arousal was from men rather then women.