Ready to masturbate on webcam again....

Last weeks session at webcamnow.com was wonderful. It only took a few minutes after I began broadcasting under my name "CockInPanty" that I began to draw an audience. I love to be watched and I was already getting excited. After chatting with one man for a very short time I let him know that I like to be told what to do. He immediately began to give me orders, having me display my sissy clit and boy pussy for him. He then made me finger fuck my pussy. By then, there were more viewers watching me play with my clit and finger my pussy. The man told me I was going to suck his cock and began telling me in detail what I would do. I had to tell him that I wanted to suck his big cock and that I would love having him fill my mouth with cum. He called me sissy slut and cocksucker and told me to stroke my little sissy cock. I did as I was told and he told me to stroke it faster. I told him that would make me cum too soon, and I wasn't ready to cum yet. He said he didn't want to wait, that I was GOING TO CUM! He then told me to rapidly stroke my little cock and to get ready to catch my cum in my hand. I couldn't take it any more. I put my left hand under my cock then rapidly stroked my excited sissy clit. I knew there were now ten viewers watching me as I began to shoot a massive load of my hot sissy cream into my hand. I continued stroking, squirting every drop of luscious cum into my hand. The man then ordered me to lick up my cream and imagine that I was licking his cum from his cock. He told me to be noisy. I moaned in pleasure as I licked my hand clean. What a turn on! I hope today's session is just as good. I'll be in my bra and panties and broadcasting again shortly. I can't wait!

Friday fun

It's Friday and as usual lately I'm getting ready to masturbate on webcam. I'm so excited at the thought. I love to have people watch me playing with my little sissy clit in my panties. I especially love getting orders and being told what to do. Eventually I can't control myself and soak my pretty panties with cum like a naughty sissy. That's the best! Having everyone see me cum in my panties!!! I hate to cut my writing short but I can't wait any longer. I know I'm about to have a nice sticky mess in my panties again.

I let myself get caught masturbating

I’ve often fantasized about getting caught while masturbating and on a recent vacation to a Jamaican resort I had the ideal opportunity to let it happen. On the fourth day at the resort as I was sitting by the pool enjoying the “sights” I started feeling the desire for some sexual gratification. Since my wife was in the pool doing water aerobics I decided to go back to the room to relieve my desires with some quick solo pleasure. As I neared the room I saw the “housekeeping” cart at the room next to ours and when I went inside our bed was still unmade. I assumed that the maid would most likely be coming to our room next and since I was already planning to masturbate, the thought of “getting caught” came to mind. I was immediately turned on by the idea but I wanted to do something so that it didn’t look too obvious. I figured the best thing would be to make it appear to the maid that I didn’t hear her knock on the door. I got my ipod and earphones out of my bag then removed my t-shirt and bathing suit and laid on the bed in direct view of the door. My cock was already hard and fully erect as I put the earphones in place. I then put the ipod next to me for show but didn’t turn it on so that I could hear when the maid was coming. I was beginning to feel nervous about what I was doing but by then I was so turned on that I didn’t want to stop. As I began to slowly rub my cock and think about the maid seeing me I realized I wasn’t going to last very long. I then heard the cart in the hallway moving closer. My heart really started pounding as I wrapped my hand around my cock and began stroking my erection. When the maid knocked on the door and said “housekeeping” I shut my eyes enough so they appeared closed but I could still see through my eyelashes. I then began to rapidly stroke my hard pink meat and as the maid unlocked the door my balls tightened and I felt that familiar pulsing sensation in my very excited cock. Even if I had wanted to, I knew there was no way to stop myself from cumming and as the door opened a stream of cum shot on my chest and belly. The young maid appeared to be totally surprised and immediately began to apologize for coming in but as I continued stroking my cock and squirting cum on my belly she seemed to sense that I didn’t know she was there. She then left the room and quietly closed the door behind her. I opened my eyes and watched the last bit of cum drain onto by belly as I finished stroking my cock. I could hardly believe I had just let someone see me masturbating but the large amount of cum on my chest and belly made it pretty obvious how excited I had been. I used several tissues cleaning up my cum then tossed them into the waste basket. There was no doubt in my mind when the maid emptied it a short while later the smell of cum was still noticeable enough to remind her of what she saw.

I'm still a Sissy

It's a new year but nothing has changed. I'M STILL A SISSY wearing my panties 24/7 and masturbating while I fantasize about sucking cock! I hope in the new year I will once again enjoy the pleasure of having a cock in my mouth! I want to suck cock and I want to swallow a nice big load of another man's cum. My cock gets hard whenever I think about it and I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I have a hard cock in my panties right now that is begging for pleasure and I'm about to take care of it. It will be my first masturbation session of the new year and I'm sure there will be many more to come. It's time to play!

my usual Friday, I'm masturbating

It’s my usual Friday…my wife is at work and I’m at home “enjoying” myself. I am so horny after looking at pictures on Flickr, especially other sissies in their panties sucking cocks. What lucky sissies! I wish I could be doing that right now. I would love having a big cock in my mouth, filling it with a hot thick creamy load of cum! Mmmmm, that sounds so good! I have my silky panties on and I’m playing with my cock. My god I love to masturbate! It gives me such pleasure. Over the past two weeks I had two masturbation sessions that were incredible. Both times I ended up on my back with my legs up on the wall and my cock pointing straight at my waiting mouth. I really enjoyed the big loads of cum that I shot in my mouth and all over my face. I really get turned on doing that and I’m ready to do it again! My cock is so hard! I’ve been playing with it all morning and now I’m ready to taste my load. Oh wow, I just about lost control in my panties thinking about cumming into my own mouth. My cock and my mouth are both very anxious. AND I CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER!!!

My third try was the charm....

It took almost eight years after the last time that I had an opportunity to fulfill my sissy desires before I got the chance again. Even after getting married I couldn’t stop thinking about sucking cock and I continued to discreetly search for someone to help me fulfill my desires. Over the past eight years I communicated with at least a half dozen men that lived nearby but nothing ever came from it. With being married the opportunities were hard to come by. I finally found a man that was interested and being understanding of my issues, he didn’t push things but said when I was comfortable he’d be ready. It took almost nine months from our first communication before everything seemed right. We made arrangements to meet but when the day arrived I contacted him with an excuse. Afterwards I was upset with myself for backing out once again and decided I either needed to “do it” or stop having the desire. I knew it had to be the former so after three weeks we again made arrangements to meet.

I put on a pink bra and panties then nervously drove to the sleezy motel where we had planned to meet. I could hardly believe what I was doing when I actually knocked on the room door and went inside. I had told him prior to meeting that we would need to “start in” right away before I had an opportunity to back out. He took control as soon as I entered, making me remove my clothes and “model” my sissy undies for him. He then made me strip him and when I didn't fold his clothes neatly after removing them, he spanked my butt. And then the moment I had been waiting almost ten years for finally happened! He told me to get down on my knees and welcome him to town. I knelt down and started to lick his cock then slid it in my mouth. Oh my god, it was so incredible! I HAD A COCK IN MY MOUTH!!! It was thick and smooth, and felt so big in my mouth. I was very nervous but loving the moment. We spent about an hour and a half together with me being submissive and him giving orders. I had my butt spanked several times and spent a lot of time licking and sucking his cock. I've always fantasized about swallowing a big load of cum although it never happened that day. I wasn’t certain whether I could really do it or not but I didn’t get the chance to find out. I hope it will happen in time. That was my initiation and I was happy and excited to have finally accomplished the first step. I can now honestly say, I know the feeling of having a thick seven inch cock in my mouth and it was wonderful!!! My mouth is no longer a virgin, it was filled with cock and I can now proclaim, I am a sissy cocksucker! That can never change for the rest of my life. No matter what else happens, I will never have my virginity again. I've SUCKED A COCK!!!

After discovering my sissy desires......

For the next few months after discovering my sissy desires I masturbated often while viewing pictures of other men masturbating or sucking cocks. Occasionally I would still masturbate while looking at women in panties but nothing excited me more then looking at a man with an excited cock. My fantasies almost always involved playing with or sucking another man’s cock and I soon realized I had the desire to have a sexual experience with a male. I placed a free ad at a gay personals web site expressing my desire to masturbate with another man with my ultimate desire being to suck their cock. It was much more difficult to find someone then I expected it to be and although I corresponded with several men in my area, I only got comfortable enough over a two year time span to meet two of them. I met the first man at a bar for a few drinks. He was “very” gay and looking for a “mutually” fun time. After talking for an hour we went our separate ways that night and even though we corresponded occasionally after our meeting we never got together again. As I continued in my search for someone to help me fulfill my desires, I came to the realization that I wasn’t interested in mutual fun with a man or reciprocation but rather that I wanted to be totally submissive to a dominant man. I wanted to be told to “suck my cock sissy” and made to masturbate in front of him for his amusement. The second man that I met seemed to fit that description. He knew beforehand that I wanted to be a “sissy” and he was turned on by the thought of having a man wearing panties sucking his cock. One evening while I was online he “instant messaged” me as he had on several occasions during the prior weeks. Up to that time I couldn’t get up the nerve to meet and would make up excuses why I couldn't. I had the desire but I couldn't get past my nervousnous. On one particular evening I was really horny when he asked if I wanted to come to his house to suck his “big cock” I couldn’t resist my desires any longer and agreed that it was a good night for him to “fill my mouth with cum”. I put on a clean pair of panties then nervously drove fifteen minutes to his home, fully expecting that by the time I returned to my house that night I would know what it was like to suck a cock. Unfortunately it didn’t turn out that way. The man’s house was dirty and smelled of animal urine and I was turned off from the moment I arrived. The bottom line however is that in the end I got scared. He asked me if I was wearing panties which I told him I was then he asked if I wanted to go into the bedroom and I declined. I can’t believe it, I was so close to fulfilling my desire and I backed out! I was only minutes from tasting cock and a few minutes further from tasting another man’s cum. I was really disappointed for letting the opportunity slip away. A few months later I got married to a woman I had been in a serious relationship with for many years prior to my discovering my sissy desires. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t know my desires sooner in life so I could have explored them further prior to our relationship. Unlike in my first marriage, my current wife does know about my panty fetish and she knows that I wear them daily. She’s okay with it and calls me her little sissy! However, she has no absolutely no idea of my true sissy desires and I’m sure she would never understand them. I live in fear of her finding out as I’m certain she would divorce me. It’s a constant struggle between my love for her and my sexual desire to be a sissy that sucks cocks!